


into each life some rain must fall

by UniversalSatan_dArchive



Category: Buzzfeed: Worth It (Web Series)
Genre: Birthday, First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Prompt: Turning 30, Shopping, Tumblr: Buzzfeed Creations Challenge, Vacation, some fun metaphors cause im unstoppable
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-06-01 18:45:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15149516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UniversalSatan_dArchive/pseuds/UniversalSatan_dArchive
Summary: Andrew has a crisis. He's also turning 30. Steven thinks that maybe he can help with that.





	into each life some rain must fall

**Author's Note:**

> i stg this was supposed to be short but i couldnt stop WRITING
> 
> anyways ty joy for helping me get an idea at first, but as you might be able to tell, i got the rest of my inspiration because i was in banff for the canada day long weekend yay lol
> 
> the only warning i have for this fic is that its unbetad and mostly unedited cause its currently almost 2:30 in the morning :). i mihgt,,,,,, come back and edit this in the morning i promise...,,,.,,,,, _Edit: almost 24 hours later and i finally look it over. i hope its all g now :^)_

Andrew wasn’t even doing anything too important when it happened. In fact, he was just taking a shower.

_Am I happy with where I am in life right now?_

Of course, the train of thought didn’t end there, and continued to spiral out of control in Andrew’s head. He was turning 30 in about a week, and he questioned if he was really doing what he wanted. Was working at Buzzfeed really the ideal job for him? He did enjoy some of the work he’s done before, but was he really using his full potential? Was this where he was meant to be?

30 was a big number. _3 decades_ . Andrew had been alive for almost _3 decades_. His prime was starting to come to an end, and there was only so much more time that he had to do certain things. If he wasn’t careful, he wouldn’t age nicely and would become limited in what he could do.

Had he made a big enough impact in the world? Was his life significant? Was there a reason to his life? It was strange that such huge existential questions hadn’t crossed his mind before, but now with the raw reality of 30 years approaching did it really sink under his skin.

Stepping out of the steam-filled bathroom, he searched for his phone as he dried his hair with a towel. Dropping it to his shoulders, he opened his text messages and found a certain contact.

 **Andrew Ilnyckyj:** _Hey_

 **Andrew Ilnyckyj:** _Are you up for a video call?_

Only after he sent the second message did he notice that it was rather late, and it was probably a lot worse in Eastern Time. He would be lucky if they saw the messages, and even luckier if they actually agreed. It was a weeknight, after all. Clicking off his phone, Andrew threw it so that it bounced off the couch cushions.

Andrew went back to the bathroom to drop off his towel, but his ears that had been fine-tuned to the buzz of his phone heard it vibrate against the couch and he caught himself almost sprinting to go pick it up again. A smile slipped onto his face as he unlocked his phone.

 **Steven Lim:** _Sure!_

 **Steven Lim:** _Will you be ready in 10?_

 **Andrew Ilnyckyj:** _Yeah sure_

Running to his room, Andrew went to search for something decent he could wear. He felt almost guilty for having his mini crisis still on mind, but the call with Steven would help him take his mind off of it. Steven had this calming demeanor to him that comforted Andrew. It reminded him of the regularity and routine they had while Steven was still living in Los Angeles. Not like they didn't still had that, but it just wasn’t the same.

Settling with an old loose t-shirt, Andrew sat on his bed with his phone, earbuds already in place. He sat his phone up against his laptop screen so he could try and work as he waited for the last few minutes, but most of his time was taken up by glancing at the clock. He prayed that he didn’t look too horrible from whatever angle his phone camera was sitting at.

At ten minutes after on the dot, Steven’s face appeared across Andrew’s phone screen as a Facetime call rang. Andrew scrambled to answer it, and only realized his angle as the call went through. He adjusted his position before Steven would have time to process his face on the screen.

 _“Hey Drew,”_ came Steven’s voice, slightly warped from the phone speaker. _“What’s up?”_

“Nothing much. I’m fine,” he answered simply, staring at Steven’s face freely on his own screen. Steven was drowning in a hoodie and curled up in a big armchair that he had in his apartment. “How about you?”

_“I’m good but... this is strange.”_

“What’s strange?”

 _“You asking to call.”_ Steven had a mischievous expression. _“I’m usually the one that does that. And a video call to boot. Are you sure you’re okay?”_

“I’ve just had a bit on my mind. It’s nothing really.”

 _“Are you sure?”_ His tone was prying but gentle, nudging Andrew to share. Andrew shifted somewhat uncomfortably. _“You can always talk to me. I’m your friend.”_

“I know. That’s kind of why I called you.”

_“Just to talk?”_

“About anything. To take my mind off things.”

_“Oh, okay.”_

“Yeah,”

_“You sure you don’t wanna say anything?”_

“... It’s kind of dumb.”

Steven scrunched up his face. _“If you’re worrying this much it’s not dumb. If it matters this much to you, it’s not dumb.”_

“Yeah, yeah.”

 _“Like it or not, I can read you like an open book, Ilnyckyj.”_ Andrew hesitated in answering, so Steven continued instead, shifting in his hoodie. _“Oh yeah! I almost forgot!”_

“What?”

_“You’re turning 30 soon, aren’t you? The big three-oh.”_

Andrew knew his face was a dead giveaway, but he tried saying something to gloss over his reaction. “Yeah, well, you will too this year,” he mumbled.

 _“It’s about your birthday, isn’t it.”_ Steven was way too perceptive for his own good. Andrew both despised and craved his prying. He moved his arm so that it covered half of his face. _“You’ve never had a problem with birthdays before, have you?”_

“No.”

_“Then what is it?”_

Andrew decided to try and avoid the question by studying Steven instead. His black hair was still vaguely styled from the day, but it was oddly intimate in the way it stuck up where it wasn’t supposed to. Steven’s face was lined with exhaustion, highlighted with the odd shadows of the lighting on his side of the line, which almost made Andrew feel guilty that he was keeping his friend up so late. If his calculations were correct, it was probably already midnight in New York. Sighing, Andrew finally decided to answer.

“I’ve just been overthinking some things.”

_“Like?”_

“Well…” He thought of how he would best explain it. “Have you ever thought about your place in the world?”

Steven grinned, but not unkindly. _“Those are some big things on your mind."_

"It’s really bugging me though. The whole concept of happiness is really… confusing. And frustrating.”

_“You’re not happy?”_

“I don’t know what I am, Steven.”

Steven sighed, rustling his hands through his hair as he thought. _“Do you know what’s making you unhappy?”_

“No. Or even if there’s something that’s making me happy. How important is it even? What about my impact or importance?” Now that he was going, everything was just flowing out. Andrew couldn’t really stop himself. “It’s just… 30 is such a big number, and what if I haven’t done everything I want to yet? How much am I going to regret when I’m older and unable to do anything I can still do now? Maybe I’ll live for a long time, but I won’t be young forever. Have you ever thought about stuff like that?”

 _“Yes,”_ Steven admitted, concentration flitting away from his own screen. _“I few years ago and constantly, but I’ve grown more decisive.”_

“How do you do that?”

_“Well, first I figure out what the problem is. Then I try and look at all my solutions.”_

“That sounds complicated.”

_“It takes time. But there’s still stuff I think about.”_

“Like?”

_“Andrew. I’m almost 30 and I’m not in a serious relationship. I know I shouldn’t be worried about stuff like that and that I have had relationships before but… I’m just worried that I won’t be able to settle down, you know? That I’ll miss out my chance.”_

Andrew felt incredulous. “You? About relationships?”

Steven narrowed his eyes. _“Yeah. Not everyone’s a charmer, Mr. Handsome.”_

“Steven. I haven’t settled down either.”

_“Oh.”_

“Yeah.”

_“Are you sure?”_

“I believe so,” he replied teasingly, earning a tiny giggle from his friend as he buried his face in his hoodie.

_“But is that all really bugging you that much?”_

“I’m not sure. It’s just started, but I have a bad feeling about it.”

_“You’re not satisfied with where you are right now?”_

“I mean, look at you! Living the dream! You had a dream and made it a reality with Worth It... and New York was somewhere you’ve always aspired to be and now you’ve been living there for… what… a year and a half now?”

_“Andrew. First thing is: don’t compare yourself to others.”_

“How am I supposed to figure out my own goals then?”

_“By from what you can do and what you want to achieve.”_

“How do I know what I want to do?”

_“That’s for you to figure out. Also… I know Worth It is my show, but it’s also yours. And Adam’s too.”_

“But…” He hesitated, mostly because he wasn’t sure where he was going with his thought.

_“Your goals also don’t have to be the same as anyone else’s. Even though I like it here in New York, you still seem more like an LA kind of person.”_

“I guess. I just hope I’ve really set a niche here though.”

 _“You have. Don’t worry.”_ They sat there in a content silence, watching each other through the call in lazy observation. It was very comfortable where Andrew sat in his bed, and Steven’s voice was way too soothing to the ears. He almost melted hearing him speak up again. _“God, this might sound weird, but I really miss you. I miss you so goddamn much it’s unbelievable.”_ Steven curled in on himself, bringing his knees up to his chest and burying his face.

Andrew chuckled. “You’ve been gone for a year and a half though. And we always travel together for the show. Not to mention how many times we’ve called.”

_“I call you so much because I miss hearing your dumb voice and even dumber puns.”_

“Thanks,” Andrew scoffed yet still felt his cheeks grow hot. “I miss your ridiculous face too.”

 _“That’s why I was so happy you asked to call me this time,”_ Steven admitted, voice getting softer yet. It was almost like he was whispering some sort of secret to his headphone microphone.

“Hm?”

_“Because sometimes I felt like I was the only one suffering,”_

“That’s an extreme word to use.”

_“Well… missing is a strange kind of hurt.”_

“Mm.”

_“So do you have anything planned for your birthday? Other than an existential crisis, apparently.”_

“No, I don’t think so. I was just going to spend it normally.”

 _“Oh!”_ Steven’s eyes flew open, and he suddenly had a child-like wistfulness to him. _“Do you know what we should do?”_

“What?”

_“Do you have any vacation days left?”_

“A few, yeah.”

_“We should go on a trip.”_

“But we do that all the time. With the show.”

He shook his head. _“No show. Just you and me and a little weekend trip. Is there some kind of place you have in mind? Somewhere you can just go and sort everything out in your head?”_

“The mountains?” Andrew offered.

Steven nodded thoughtfully. _“Hm, yes, we can do that.”_

“Wait… you better not be thinking of doing what I think you’re going to.”

 _“It’s your birthday present,”_ he insisted, beaming. _“You’ll get it in the mail in a few days.”_

“Steven,” he said exasperatedly, “You don’t have to do this.”

_“But I want to. Not just to be generous, but because I firmly believe I’ll have a good time too.”_

“You’re too good to me.”

_“I only feed you every Worth It trip.”_

“Dammit, Steven.”

Steven was suddenly interrupted by a huge yawn. _“Well, maybe we can talk tomorrow again or something, but I really need to be getting to sleep,”_ he fought to say as his yawn ebbed away, threatening to start another. _“It’s really late over here, and I’ve been working quite a bit lately.”_

“Okay. Sorry. I didn’t mean to disturb your schedule too much.”

 _“It’s okay. I’ve already told you that I miss your dumb voice. Just try not to think too much, 'kay?_ ”

“Aye aye, captain.”

_“Goodnight Andrew.”_

“Goodnight Steven.”

 

* * *

 

Andrew’s crisis grew worse as the days went by. He thought about it at almost every waking moment, almost keeping him from being able to effectively complete basic tasks.

Not a few days after their call, though, did Andrew find an envelope in the mail. Inside were plane tickets to and from Calgary and a printed screenshot of a room booking confirmation of a hotel in Banff.

_Apparently, Andrew was spending his 30th birthday in the mountains with Steven._

 

* * *

 

The flight was long enough, but Andrew knew that the flight from New York was definitely much longer. Andrew’s flight had even come in a little late, but he still had about half an hour before he met Steven at his terminal. The anticipation to see him again made him restless.

A coffee and sandwich later, Andrew found himself dozing off in the waiting area where Steven was to arrive. He hadn’t even bothered to visit the airline lounge they had memberships to from flying around with Buzzfeed so much. The crappy metal and cushioned seat was far different than the nice business style armchairs the lounge had. A stray thought reminded him that all the under-cabin luggage was already starting to be given back out, but Andrew couldn’t bring himself to care. At least they had already gone through customs before they came into Canada.

The announcement that the New York flight had landed and was letting off passengers sounded, and Andrew leapt to his feet, already searching the empty corridor for his friend’s face. He tried to restrain himself when he realized just how antsy he had gotten, but he still eagerly scanned each face as people filed out of the plane.

Spotting Steven’s face at last, he waved and called out to him, trying his best to steal his attention. As soon as Steven saw him, he beamed and made a beeline to where Andrew was waiting.

“Andrew!” he exclaimed, immediately going in for a one-armed hug. “It’s been too long!”

“It hasn’t been that long,” Andrew laughed, reciprocating. “How was traveling back in time?”

“I’m exhausted, but when am I never?”

“You gotta start taking care of yourself.”

“Hey, but it could just be because I just woke up. I got a good sleep on the flight.”

“Well, at least you got some rest. I just finished up some work on my flight. And thought a bit, I suppose.”

“I’ve been worrying about you,” Steven scolded, already starting off towards the luggage claim. “Ever since the call, you’ve gotten me thinking too.”

“Sorry about that.”

“It’s no worries; I always think too much.”

“We can’t have us both worrying though,” Andrew teased, bumping into Steven lightly. Steven shoved back.

“I _said_ I wasn’t worrying too much.”

“You always worry.”

Once they got down to baggage claim, Andrew was relieved to see that his smaller suitcase was put to the side. He ran and retrieved it before waiting beside Steven at his luggage terminal.

“So you never told me how we’re getting to Banff,” Andrew wondered, watching the luggage conveyor belt whir to life. “Are we taking a bus or something?”

Steven shook his head. “I was thinking we could just rent a car. It is a lot more like the Worth It trips, but we’ll have more freedom that way.”

“Do you even know the way?”

He shrugged. “I’ll just use a bit of data for directions to the hotel and I think we’ll be fine. I like driving... unless you wanted to.”

“No, you can drive. I just thought you’d be tired.”

“It relaxes me,” he smiled. The conversation ended there as Steven rushed forward to grab his duffel bag and smaller suitcase.

“That’s a lot of luggage, fancy boy,” Andrew mused, raising his eyebrows. Steven rolled his eyes.

“Listen. It’s a vacation. We’ll probably do some hikes... I just wanted to be prepared.”

“Uh huh. _Prepared_.”

Before he realized it, Steven already got the keys to their rental car and all of their stuff had been packed into the trunk. It was just big enough for the two of them, but not too small. Steven struggled with finding directions as Andrew wrestled with a map, insisting that it was too expensive to use data.

“You’re not in the right lane!” Andrew insisted, pointing to the map that he knew Steven wouldn’t have time to glance at. “We have to get on this highway if we want to get to Banff!”

“Hey, I know how to drive,” Steven waved off. “Oh look! You can already see the mountains over there.”

“Oh yeah. You really can already, can’t you. Well, let’s at least _try_ to get there by dinner. The hunger will be un _bear_ able.”

Steven narrowed his eyes, concentrating on the road ahead of him. Suddenly Andrew’s words processed in his head, and he almost swerved the car. “Wait did you see a bear already?”

Andrew snorted, trying to muffle his laughs. “We’re not even out of the city yet.”

“I hate you.”

They gradually drove into the mountains, rock towering over their tiny car. Steven had ultimate control over the AUX cord, which Andrew didn’t actually mind. He was content with just staring out the window at all the trees and wilderness, hoping to maybe spot at the very least a deer or moose. There was a mine carving into a mountain along the way, and a tiny island with a Canadian flag and picnic bench barely staying on the landmass in the middle of a giant lake.

Spacing out again was the perfect time to have all of his thoughts come swirling back. Maybe it was nice to come and do some hiking and cross that off his list, but old people hiked all the time. Perhaps hiking was something he was missing out on? What if he was meant to do something out here? To go backwoods camping? To go whitewater rafting? To go mountain skiing? He did ski quite a bit, but Los Angeles wasn’t exactly beside any good ski hills.

The mountains made him feel smaller. How much of a mark did making entertainment and educational videos for Youtube leave? Could they even be considered that? Andrew already didn’t like being known for his Creepy Series, but what about Worth It? What about Eat Your Feed? They wouldn’t necessarily make a lasting impression on people, would they? Did he still want to be known for his accomplishments after he was long gone? Did he care? Did anything he really do impact the future? Was his life significant? Did he even have enough time to try and make his life significant?

“You’re thinking too much again,” Steven interrupted his thoughts, speaking softly. His voice was easily heard over the slower song that was now playing. Andrew ripped his concentration from his own window to look at his friend. “I can almost hear how hard you’re thinking.”

“How can you hear someone else’s thoughts?”

“It’s written all over your face.”

Andrew blinked. He hadn’t noticed his face changing, and he hadn’t noticed that the car had stopped either. Steven moved it forwards, but only slightly because of the car in front of them moving. Inside the booth they had pulled up to sat a national park ranger. Andrew zoned out again as Steven cheerfully spoke to them and bought a park pass, asking about various locations that they could visit and directions.

Not a few minutes later were they driving into Banff.

 

* * *

 

“I don’t think I can park until we get our room keys. Just grab your stuff now and I’ll grab mine when I park the car.”

Glad to finally get out of the car, Andrew found his carry-on and suitcase, heaving them both out and going into the hotel. The town was nice, and Banff Park Lodge seemed great as well. As soon as he entered, he could see that the lounge area was grand and somewhat rustic but modest, and Andrew could spot a pool and gym entrance just across the room. Going to sit down on a couch, he watched Steven grab their room keys and exchange money for some Canadian cash.

“Why don’t we have this?” Steven asked, showing Andrew a handful of colourful plastic bills. “They’re so much more fun than what we have.” Andrew grabbed a twenty to inspect its colour and texture.

“This is weird.”

“But nice. Green paper money is so boring. Also, here’s your card. The wifi password is on the sleeve.” Andrew was handed his room key, realizing that Steven didn’t have another in sight. “Sorry about that, but I only got us one room. We each get a Queen bed, but I didn’t think it would be necessary to get two whole rooms.”

Andrew waved it off, pocketing his key. “It’s fine. You’re already paying for so much. I’ll get dinner.”

“No-” Steven began to protest, but Andrew was already leaving him.

“I know it’s my birthday, but it’s not today. Just let me pay for at least one meal.” And with that, he left Steven to go find their room. Steven still had to park, so Andrew thought it best to unpack and settle in a bit.

 

* * *

 

“Hey! They have takoyaki here! Wanna split some?” Steven was already marking it down on the request menu before Andrew had time to anwer.

Both didn’t have to wander very far to find some place to eat because just as they were trying to go to Banff Ave, they spotted a smaller sushi place along the way. They both agreed that it would be better to have something light and ended up where they were now.

“Oh look: they have sea urchin here too. Didn’t we have some in the spaghetti episode?”

“What, where?” Steven scanned the menu, marker open and ready to mark it down. “Aw, I think it’s crossed out. They must be out. And I’m pretty sure we’ve had it more than in just the spaghetti episode.”

“I don’t even remember anymore. We’ve had truffles and gold more than I can count on my fingers.”

“But hey,” Steven pointed out, sliding the choosing menu and marker to Andrew, “This isn’t the show. We can have whatever we want and do whatever we want.”

“We already kind of do what we want on that show.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Speaking of,” Andrew changed the subject. He lifted the soy sauce bowl to find his chopsticks resting on a gummy. He took it and popped it in his mouth before continuing. “It’s almost kind of weird that you’re on the other side of the table now.”

“There’s only two of us,” Steven replied, immediately unearthing his own gummy while he was at it. “And no show to shoot. This is how two people normally sit.”

“Yeah, I guess,” he hummed. It was strange eating with Steven when he wasn’t leaning against his arm as they ate. Or him wrapping his arm around his shoulder when he tasted something specifically delicious. They were alone together now, but oddly isolated.

Steven did have a point in worrying. 30 was getting older. It bugged him just a bit that he hadn’t found someone he could just settle with and find a groove with.

Luckily he forgot about worrying once the food came. Both were too preoccupied in stealing portions of the other’s order, trying to sneak rolls and nigiri without being caught.

 

* * *

 

“Did you bring any swimming things?” Steven asked just as Andrew was searching for his swim trunks. He ended up claiming the bed closest to the wall, but unpacked all of his clothes into the dresser underneath the television screen.

“Yeah, I have them here. Are you also thinking of going swimming?”

“Yes! Oh, perfect! We can go together.”

“I don’t think the pool is quite big enough for laps, but I saw at least two jacuzzis, which I’m kind of looking forward to.”

“Perfect.”

And that is exactly how Andrew found himself in that odd predicament. He had, of course, been with Steven everywhere and stayed in hotel rooms with him before, but they had both kept to themselves. Now that he was changed into his swim trunks and shoving his clothes into the changing room locker, he turned around to be greeted with Steven, who had also changed into his swimming trunks. The realization that he had never seen his friend half-naked hit him like a bus.

“Are you ready to go?” he asked, shoving his stuff into Andrew’s locker before he closed it.

“You’re so goddamn pale,” Andrew let slip, biting his lip when he noticed and trying to play it off as teasing. Steven looked offended and shoved him lightly.

“Hey. New York isn’t exactly sunshine state.”

“You also really love your jackets, huh.” There was barely even a hint of a tan, Andrew noted as he scanned his friend. Or maybe there was an excuse hidden in his reasoning. He wasn’t really willing to go that far into his brain, so he turned and left the changing room.

“There’s nothing wrong with being a fancy boy.” Steven followed him out, staring at a foggy door before the step down to the main pool. “Hey look: there’s a eucalyptus steam room.”

“We can get back to it later… we should probably swim first. Oh, hey, this one’s just a warm-up pool, while the other bigger one over there is the jacuzzi.”

“Let’s just try and get into the pool pool first.”

Steven almost slipped on the tiles trying to catch up to Andrew where he was by the pool stairs, completely ignoring the couple sitting in the jacuzzi. At least there weren’t any kids there.

“How cold is it?” Steven naively asked, already dipping a foot into the first step of the water. Hissing and retracting his foot, he took a step back from the pool.

“It can’t be that cold,” Andrew insisted, immediately dashing all the way into the pool before he could regret it. A huge shiver wracked up and down his spine, and he stood up straight as he hugged himself. “See?”

“You big fat liar,” Steven gasped, finally willing himself to stand on the very first step, the water lapping up his feet.

“It’s not really that bad though.” Now that he was submerging himself more, Andrew was fine, and he was absolutely sure Steven was just being a big drama queen about it. “At this rate you’ll never get in here.” Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the couple in the jacuzzi get up and head towards the steam room.

“Let me do things at my own pace,” Steven pouted, already squeezing his arms and holding them against his stomach.

“ _Water_ you even trying to achieve here?” Andrew was proud of himself for that one, but his friend just glared at him.

Very suddenly deciding something, Andrew lunged forward and wrapped his arms around Steven's waist, falling back and dragging his friend with him. He could feel Steven struggle and gasp on top of him, squirming to get off and surface. Andrew swam back a bit to get out of the situation and couldn’t help but lose it when he saw the look of absolute murder on Steven’s face.

“ _Oh, you’re going to get it, aren’t you,_ ” Steven muttered, shivering momentarily before diving into the water towards Andrew. Andrew howled with laughter as he tried his best to step away, splashing in the water before Steven could reach him. Swimming was apparently the fastest means to get anywhere though, because Steven soon managed to tackle Andrew back into the water. He ran his fingers against Andrew’s sides, which probably gave him a reaction that neither would have expected, but Andrew had to effectively retaliate to try and win anything.

“ _Try me_ ,” he growled, worming his arms around Steven and tickling him. The effect was immediate, and Steven was squirming and thrashing around as he tried to escape Andrew’s grasp. It wasn’t long until it turned to be a full-out war as they swam around the pool either chasing the other or running away.

At some point, Andrew grew tired and let himself float as he stared at the ceiling. The water generally made him feel lighter, but he also felt satisfied with where he was. He could hear the slosh of water come from somewhere around him, and consequently hands weakly teasing him as they ran over his bare stomach. _Well, they were definitely teasing,_ Andrew thought, _but probably not in the way Steven intended._

“I already told you I’m not that ticklish,” Andrew sighed, swatting away Steven’s hands.

“You better not be thinking too much again,” Steven warned, pushing Andrew so that he bumped against the edge of the pool.

“I promise you, I’m definitely not overthinking anything,” he muttered after recovering.

“In any event, you really don’t act like you’re just about thirty. You were probably about twelve there.”

The thirty comment almost brought his impending crisis back, but he quickly retaliated. “You weren’t quite almost thirty yourself.”

“Whatever. You started it.”

“Yeah, right. How about we try the steam room now?” Finding his way back to his feet, he lifted himself out of the pool, Steven following in suit.

Andrew wasn’t quite sure which was worse: the jacuzzi or the steam room. They were perfectly pleasant, mind you, but now that the seed had been planted in his head of being hyperaware of Steven and where he was at any given moment, it was a living hell. And he would have taken nothing less.

The steam room was heavenly. Eucalyptus was infused in the steam, and though it took a minute or two to get used to, it was very relaxing. Even though they sat just behind the door in the warmest part of the room, Steven was right beside him, sitting by his feet. Steven had shoved Andrew so that his back came in full contact with the wall behind him, hissing in pain from the sharp heat. It took his breath away, though, when his leg brushed up against Steven’s arm and shoulder. They were both sweating and hot from the room, and Andrew didn’t dare trying to question his own reactions any further, despite the fact that his mind had been screaming for him to the entire evening.

The jacuzzi was debatably worse. There were some more reserved kids playing in the pool, but Andrew sat with Steven in the jacuzzi. Steven really had no shame in going to sit right next to him, claiming that Andrew was stealing all the good jets. They talked quietly to each other for what seemed like forever (or at least until the bubbles turned off), and the entire time, Andrew was hypersensitive to every point of contact he had with Steven.

“We should go to the pool more often,” Andrew commented offhandedly as they were drying off. He could feel Steven’s eyes on him, trying their best to figure out just what he meant, but when Andrew turned to face him, he saw the trace of a smile gracing his friend’s face.

 

* * *

 

Andrew was inhumanely woken up unfortunately early on his birthday.

“I’m too old for this,” he grumbled, squeezing one of his spare pillows over his eyes. Steven was waltzing around the room, turning every goddamn light known to man on and hitting him with pillows. “Plus it’s my _birthday_. Have some mercy please.”

“ _Please_. You’re thirty now, big boy,” Steven scoffed. Andrew groaned. “We’ve got a hike to go on!” Andrew groaned even louder.

“Usually it’s the birthday boy who gets to choose what to do on their birthday.”

“Oh, suck it up buttercup. I promise it’ll be short. The person at the front desk said it’s a nice and easy hike. For children and older people.”

“But _now?_ ”

“I don’t wanna go when it gets too busy. Plus the morning mountain air is nice and fresh. Crisp.”

It was partially because he was stubborn, but Andrew took his sweet time getting out of bed. He was happy just laying there, watching Steven go about getting ready. He took forever to get his hair done, and since he had disappeared around the corner where the extra sink was, Andrew tried his best to wake up and find some gear that would be good enough for hiking.

Thus that was how he found himself and Steven at the foot of _Tunnel Mountain_ . The ‘mountain’ (it was barely large enough to be considered as such) was basically inside of Banff already, and it had only taken less than five minutes to drive up to the parking lot they were starting at from _Evelyn’s_ coffee shop, where they had gone to pick up breakfast. Andrew was incredibly grateful for not only the caffeine but also the quality it offered.

“It said it was going to be pretty hot today,” Steven warned as he checked the contents of a backpack he had brought. It was rather small, and most of the stuff they needed had been stuffed into Andrew’s. “I brought plenty of water for both of us, but hopefully we won’t need the sunscreen!” Andrew saw it to be a miracle how bouncy and bubbly Steven was already at that time in the morning. Smiling, he jogged to catch up as they started a steeper climb. “The one guide from earlier said that the first part is a bit steeper than near to the top. She also said it should be a breeze for us.”

“Why’s that?”

“She said we look fit enough.”

“I know I am at least.”

“ _Hey;_  I play basketball. I can definitely hike.”

“Okay, _Lanky_.”

“Shut _up_. I’ll race you.”

“You’re going to trip,” Andrew protested, but as soon as Steven began to speed up, so did he. Of course, however, neither were built as hikers and ended up having to slow down a bit as they came to a second parking area.

“Oh! There’s parking up here,” Steven pointed out the obvious as they crossed the street to the rest of the path. “We could’ve parked here.”

“But we get more of a hike this way. I don’t mind.”

“Says the person who didn’t want to go hiking this morning.”

“Hey, I never said anything like that. I was just against the morning part.”

“You were just having a _rocky_ start, huh? Huh?”

“Okay, fine, whatever. You can have that one.”

There were quite a few people on the hike but traffic wasn’t heavy. Because of the time of year and the time of day, they only passed someone every once in a while. And Steven was right: the air was a lot cleaner and fresher, and really helped clear up Andrew’s mind. It was soothing to see the nature grow wildly around the trail and each of its little features. The crisis he had had earlier really did begin to clear up during the trip, but he had also taken the time to listen to Steven’s advice and try to figure out the solutions to a lot of the issues - and to name those issues in the first place. Already, he had managed to cross a lot of the worries off of his list. Even now he was trying his best to do so, only occasionally being interrupted by Steven making a comment about this or that, or stopping to take photos.

 _How was Andrew’s life significant?_ That was the question currently prying at his mind. Did it really matter what he did today, or what he did tomorrow? Was anything that he actually wanted to do making an impact? How much did he care about impact?

Andrew stared at the photos he had taken of Steven on his phone. Flipping to some earlier ones, he stared at photos of flowers and plants and trees that he had taken. How were they significant? The plants had no way to move around, so at first they would probably seem very insignificant, but then Andrew paused to think of their effect. He had taken the time to capture their beauty and save it to his camera roll… how many other people had done the exact same thing? How many people had immortalized the beauty of each tree and flower and unique landmass as he had? They hadn’t moved from where they were, and yet they each had their own big impact. _They were significant_.

He ended up flipping to another photo he had taken of Steven. And what about him? He seemed to have most of his life figured out, unlike Andrew. Or at least on the outside.

Yet whatever he thought, Andrew still knew that Steven had made a huge impact on his life. He beamed down at one where he caught Steven mid-laugh, which he knew he would treasure for quite a while. Steven could move around and make more impact than any of those flowers or plants or trees ever could.

_So why did Andrew have so little faith in himself?_

Andrew briefly wondered how old some of the trees around him were. Suddenly, thirty years didn’t seem so bad.

“Are you coming, slowpoke?” Steven called out to him. Andrew hadn’t even realized how much farther ahead he had gotten. Shutting off his phone, he scrambled to catch up.

“Just making sure my pictures came out well.”

“And did they?”

“Better than ever.”

Instead of thinking too much about himself for the short way up the rest of the mountain, Andrew thought more about Steven’s issue. He knew it was something that he shouldn’t concern himself with too much, but his curiosity really got the best of him. _Was Steven still pondering over the whole relationship thing?_ That was something more serious that took more decision and action making in the long term, and was perhaps something that Andrew should indulge in as well.

“Have you thought at all about what you said earlier?” Andrew asked while they ate an early lunch at the peak of their hike. The top plateaued with flat rock and an amazing view, but they had found a gem of a spot that isolated them from other wandering hikers. Neither could really look away from the view of the mountains around and town beneath them.

“About what?”

“About relationships.”

“Oh, _that_. Have you been thinking the entire hike?”

“Yes, but I think I’ve really began to sort my thoughts around. The trip is really helping me... but I was wondering how you were doing with yours.”

“With mine, huh.” Steven took another bite of his sandwich and a sip of his water before deciding to continue. “I’ve thought about it a bit. I could tell you were thinking pretty hard, so I guess it came naturally.”

“And? Have you come up with any conclusions? Or anything close?”

“Hm, well… I may have found the issue, but not necessarily the solution.”

“How could you best sum it up?”

“Something like… _What I’ve been searching for in vain for so long has already been with me all along_. Does that kind of make sense?”

“I think so,” Andrew hummed. “That’s an interesting find. I’m glad this trip is turning out well for both of us.”

“Why don’t we go in town after we get down? Do some shopping - it’ll do some more good for us.”

“Sounds good. But… let’s just stay here for a little bit longer.”

“Yeah. I’d really like that.”

 

* * *

 

Their shopping trip inevitably started in all of the general gift shops down Banff Ave. It was endearing to watch Steven revert to a five year old as he almost became a hazard in the store, becoming unusually excited at the strangest of things. He cooed at the stuffed animals, and reached over to put different and strange hats on Andrew’s head. Steven became rather ecstatic when Andrew admitted that he really liked one of the winter hats Steven had chosen for him and kept it with him even though it was already May. Oh well: it was better to have it for when the winter came around.

Along with the hat, Andrew also got some nice beer glasses, while Steven got himself a souvenir hoodie. Both ended up throwing in a few pairs of socks and a mug each in while they were at it.

“Shopping is so dangerous,” Steven mused as they walked out of the gift shop. Andrew stared down at his own bag and sighed.

“I know it’s my birthday but I really shouldn’t be spending so much on myself like this,” Andrew lamented. At least he had purchased items that would be practical to him.

“Look at that!” Steven suddenly started laughing, pointing to a sign of a store they were approaching. _Rock, Paper, Silver. Oh, that was good._ “It’s like this store was made for you,” he teased, but Andrew was genuinely interested.

“Let’s go in,” he decided, having a bad feeling that he wouldn’t walk out without something else in hand.

“Oh wow, look at this! A whole cave bear fossil! This is super cool.”

“Hey, do you want these amethyst wings for 75 big ones?”

“That’s so much, holy fuck. Oh, but you can take a picture, see? It even says where to tag it on insta.”

“Do you want me to take a picture of you for your instagram?”

“I look good enough I guess. What do you think?”

“You look fine,” Andrew promised, rolling his eyes as he was handed Steven’s phone. “I’ll take a few so you can take the best.” Steven ended up posing in front of them in various ways, so there were probably at least twenty pictures to choose from by the end of it. In Andrew’s opinion, they all looked absolutely angelic.

“Look at all these colourful stones! And this fossil table!”

“Just don’t break anything. I’d rather not be thrown into debt.”

“Imagine being so rich that you could just have this table… just sitting around… haha.”

“I’m genuinely worried about my bank account with you running around like this.”

“Hey Andrew! Come over here!” Andrew weaved his way around various stones and gems to be where Steven was beckoning him to. “Look at all these rings. Wouldn’t you look great in some of these?”

Andrew was taken aback at his statement. It was a smaller gesture, but because of this new crisis that he had been tending to he really took it to heart. He scanned some of the stones, trying to figure out what kinds were in front of him. “You think so?”

“A larger band would probably suit you, huh?” Steven mused, already scanning some amazonite stones and handing one to Andrew. “Like this?” Andrew took it and put it on, staring at his hand at different angles.

“I think the gem is slightly small. And a band size of 10 might be better.”

“How about this one? Oh, and there’s this one too.”

“I’m not quite sure this colour suits me.”

“Oh. Maybe you’re right.”

“If we’re really looking into rings, why don’t we look around for gems first and then reconvene?”

So they each wandered off on their own. Andrew was drawn to the richer gemstones like lapis lazuli and kyanite and shattuckite. Their rich colour along with the thick silver bands really enhanced the tone and look of his hand. Some of the rings fit slightly better than the others.

Andrew glanced up to see Steven across from him, gazing at a ring of his own. He couldn’t see as well, but his best guess would be white moonstone. It oddly suited Steven, and Andrew couldn’t help but stare at the lines of gentle happiness lining his face. He didn’t realize how long he had been staring because before he knew it, Steven was putting the ring back in place and glancing up to Andrew. Andrew quirked him a smile, knowing that it was too late to play it off.

“Did you find something you like?” he wondered, making his way around the display island to be by Andrew’s side. Andrew panicked, scanning the glass surface for a stone that would suit him.

“Uhh, that one looks pretty cool?” He mentally facepalmed. _‘Pretty cool’? Nice try._ The label indicated that it was black onyx. Steven took to it and peered curiously at the selection.

“It does, actually. Did you find a specific one you like?”

“Um, not yet-”

“We have a lot more here if you’re interested,” a store clerk from behind the glass display interrupted them, if slightly timidly. “They’re all sorted by size, so you can pick from a selection.”

“Oh, could I try that? I’m a size 10,” Andrew requested. The store clerk crouched down and rummaged around, procuring a box with a bunch of rings on display.

“All of these here are size 10 for black onyx. Are there any other gems you wanted to try out?”

He shook his head. “I think these will be fine for now.” He was entranced by the masculine shimmer the stone produced, along with how deep the colour itself was. It contrasted nicely with the shine of the silver bands.

“This one looks amazing,” Steven said as he reached for the rings before Andrew could even decide. The larger stone was placed on a thick band and was a cross between a short square and an oval. Steven was grabbing his hand before he could process anything was happening and slipping the ring on Andrew’s ring finger. The gesture had probably been done automatically but it took his breath away. His mind clouded over.

Andrew was too busy staring at Stevens fingers deftly working to notice the ring on his own hand. When Steven’s eyes suddenly widened and he drew back his hands, Andrew took the opportunity to have a feel for the ring. It was snug and unusually comfortable, and the ring itself complimented his hand.

“I don’t know how you did it, but you chose the perfect one,” Andrew breathed, holding up his hand to further inspect it. Just to make sure, he glanced over to the other rings just to see if there were any that had the potential to match the one he had on. There weren’t.

“It really does look stunning on you,” Steven agreed, voice slightly quieter than it had been before.

Andrew took it off momentarily to check the tag on it. “Oh god. A hundred thirty for the ring, huh?”

“The bigger the ring is, the more silver has to be used,” the store clerk apologized, putting away the other rings. “That, and the gemstone is slightly larger.”

“We’ll take it,” Steven decided suddenly. His confidence made Andrew raise his eyebrows. “I’ll buy it for you.”

“ _Steven_. You don’t have to treat me this much…”

“I _want_ to. It’s your birthday, and it looks absolutely amazing on you. You deserve this.” They stared at each other for a while, Steven unwavering in his decision as Andrew fought with himself. Sighing, he came up with his own conclusion.

“I’ll only let you get it if you let me buy you that ring you were looking so fondly at.”

Steven’s posture snapped straight. “The what?”

“It looked like a white moonstone or something. You really seemed to want it and were trying it on before you came here.”

“Oh, that?” he murmured, tone softening. “It’s not exactly cheap either. And what’s the point if I’m buying you this already…”

“Just show me which one it was,” Andrew insisted. “I wanna see which one stole your heart.” Steven had the _decency_ to _blush_ at his statement.

“I’ll… I’ll just ring you guys up at the register as soon as you’re ready then,” the clerk stammered, pointing over near the entrance and leaving them.

Once everything had been paid for, both stood outside, trying to fish their new purchases out of their bags and put them on.

“It says on my little card here that black onyx is pretty spiritual and used to ward off negative energy,” Andrew said, sliding his own ring on. Steven also took out his information card.

“Mine says that white moonstone is basically used for emotions… oh, and for things like psychicness and dream work.”

“Psychicness?”

“Yeah. I’d say that’s pretty cool.”

“I guess.”

Steven moved his hand so that it outstretched right beside Andrew’s hand. He lifted Andrew’s hand so that their palms were pressed together, their rings on opposite sides but with their bands touching. It was interesting how the depth of the black onyx and the mystique of the white moonstone balanced each other out.

“Our rings contrast each other well,” Steven speculated. “Like Yin and Yang.”

They both ended up in _The Fudgery_ to get a pile of fudge and other treats, but Andrew kept on rubbing his ring and thinking about what Steven had said. In fact, it wouldn’t be off to say that he clinged to those words like a dying man to water.

 

* * *

 

“Happy birthday.”

Steven sat in front of Andrew, elbows on the table and hands clasped together. They had already ordered their food, but only their drinks had come so far. Steven reached for his own drink to cheers. Andrew took a sip of his own cocktail after, content with his _‘Dark and Stormy’_. He ignored Steven’s teasing of his choice.

“Thirty, huh,” Andrew said as he placed his glass back on the table. The moonstone on Steven’s finger glinted as he moved his hand.

“Are you feeling better about being thirty?”

“I feel old,” Andrew joked, and Steven narrowed his eyes. “I mean, you’re still in your twenties. Can you imagine that?”

“I was born the same year as you, dummy.”

“Sorry, but there must have been a mis _steak_ ,” he smirked. He had ordered a chicago-style steak just earlier, so Steven groaned.

“You just stole that pun from the restaurant in front of the hotel.”

“So what if I did?”

Steven rolled his eyes and changed the subject. “From the way you are now I would have never thought you were having a crisis even yesterday.”

“I believe I’ve finally sorted out where I believe my place is,” Andrew pondered, tapping his chin with a finger. “A lot of it was trivial, or something too big to really be worrying about.”

“What about something about being thirty and getting too old?”

“I realized how much people do past their twenties. Being twenty seems to have a lot of freedom, but a lot of it is freedom I don’t care much about.”

“You know,” Steven hummed, dropping his chin into one of his hands, his cheek squishing into his fingers, “When I first began at Buzzfeed, I really looked up to you.”

“You did?” Andrew was genuinely surprised.

“Yeah, I did.” He sounded almost wistful. “You had such a calm and cool persona on screen, and you really put a lot of effort into your videos - whether or not you’re still proud of them."

“That’s high praise, coming from you.”

“Don’t try and compliment me while I’m complimenting you,” Steven pouted, relaxing before continuing on. “It’s just… don’t run yourself dry. Don’t fail to recognize all the incredible things you’ve done just because of what you haven’t done yet. You’re such an amazing person, whatever age you come to be, and don’t blind yourself from that.”

Those words resonated throughout his entire being. Three sentences shouldn’t have had such an impact on him, but almost instantly did Andrew feel like another foggy cover was cleared from his head. He felt lighter, and some of the remaining issues were gone with a flash. Andrew hid his lower face behind his hands, trying desperately to conceal just how happy he was to hear that from Steven.

“Thank you,” he mumbled, muffled by his hands. Steven smiled warmly, almost worsening the effect he had on Andrew. Coughing, he tried his best to recover before something else came to mind. “And you? What about that whole… finding something to be with you all along thing? Did you come to a solution yet?”

“Hm, well...” He gazed off to a spot behind Andrew, dazed. “I believe I know how to manage my side of it all, but now I just need to figure out where the other party stands.”

“Why not ask them?”

Steven blinked. His attention slid back to Andrew. “What?”

Andrew shrugged. “Why not ask the other party? Maybe it’ll clear up a lot, and quickly.”

“I- I’m not that blunt of a person,” Steven stammered, glancing away from his friend again. “It’s not my style. Or rather, it’s harder for me to do that.”

“It really does take a certain type of bravery, huh.”

“Then maybe I’m just a coward,” Steven laughed. “A weak, pathetic coward.”

“Don’t call yourself that. Plus, courage like that doesn’t build up immediately.”

“Then how come that bravery hasn’t developed for all the years it’s been here?”

“It can only start to muster when you actually know what it is.”

Both ended up staring at each other again, seriously mulling over what the other was trying to get across. Andrew took another sip of his cocktail as Steven broke out into giggles.

“I barely know what we’re even talking about anymore,” Steven confessed, drinking some of his own water. “But do you think we should hit a bar after this? Party a bit... for your birthday.”

“I don’t feel like it, to be completely honest. I’m happy just spending my time with you.”

“Then do you want to go for an after-dinner walk? There’s a nice trail by the river behind our hotel that we could go along. Or start from wherever we leave the restaurant from.”

“I like the sound of that better. Let’s do that.”

Their conversation had been abruptly interrupted after that as their food arrived. They ate slowly enough that they could have probably still conversed, but neither thought of anything, simply enjoying the other’s company.

 

* * *

 

The hike down Bow River ended up rather quiet. There was minimal traffic that they passed, and both walked beside each other in a peaceful silence. Yes, they were still digesting their food from earlier, but they were also still digesting the conversation from earlier. The near sunset state Banff held kept them in this magical realm and enhanced their thinking ability.

He didn’t know why, but only now did it suddenly occur to Andrew that he didn’t know who Steven had been talking about earlier. It was obvious that he had been trying to find the perfect relationship for a while now, but he phrased it in a way as if he had just recently found a perfect candidate that was near him. _Who could it be? Did Andrew know who they were? Why did he feel such a need to pry into Steven’s life like this?_

Glancing to his side, he traced the outlines of Steven with his eyes. He seemed relaxed enough but deep in thought. Andrew really wanted to know what he was thinking about for some reason. And thus, his last remaining crisis surfaced once again.

_How did he feel about Steven?_

Now, previously, this hadn’t been a concern that heavily plagued his thoughts. Andrew had always assumed that he had simply missed Steven’s presence once he had moved to New York. Even though Steven was always the one to initiate it, he really looked forward to their calls, however many they had during the week. Apparently that had all only been a part of it.

What really made him question it all was how he had been reacting during their trip so far. They had only been together for less than two days and Andrew could already tell there was something different in the way they interacted and looked at each other. Hell, his curiosity at the pool should have already been a telltale enough of a sign. Maybe Andrew was just denser than he thought.

Yet with all of his own reactions swirling around his head, trying to think of who Steven was interested in only brought an ache to his chest. He instinctively clenched his fists, squeezing them tighter to will the ache to go away. It was probably the most pointless of crisis Andrew had had all week.

“The waterfall starts here I think,” Steven suddenly spoke up, pointing down over a railing to the river. He was right: the water already began to churn, white water crashing downstream. The waterfall didn’t go straight down, but rather aggressively chugged its way away. Andrew followed Steven into a nook underneath some stairs that continued the trail. The nook shadowed them away from the remaining few travellers that even appeared on the path.

“It’s so impressive,” Andrew said in awe, stepping up to hold the barrier to look over at the water. Only a couple feet away from him did loose ends of the river swirl against the bank. He could feel Steven join him, their forearms barely touching.

“Why does it seem so angry?”

“Why would it be angry?”

There was unexpectedly a hand clutching at the sleeve of Andrew’s sweater, and he could see Steven gripping his arm for support. He was staring down at the water with a mixed expression. “Does it scare you?” Andrew continued.

“Can’t you see the way it churns?”

“It doesn’t have to show anger.”

“Then what do _you_ see it as?”

“Hm, well… strength for one.” Andrew turned slightly to face him, and suddenly he was trapped between the log barrier and Steven’s arm gripping at his sweater. “Perseverance… _passion…_ ” Steven turned to face him as well, and all of the breath was knocked out of his lungs. His eyes were filled with worry, but also indecisiveness.

“Maybe it’s hard for me to see that because I am blind to it.” He was speaking in breathy half-whispers now. Andrew had to move closer to be able to hear him over the roaring water.

“What you see really reflects a lot about you.” Out of the corner of his eye, Andrew could see his own black onyx ring glint and reflect from where he had rested his hand on the banister. The grip on his sleeve tightened, and he could feel the band of Steven’s moonstone ring there.

“I don’t usually think of myself as an angry person.”

“I never said that.” His head was bowed slightly, and he barely noticed that he was leaning towards Steven. “Just try and see it my way. Maybe that will help you decide.”

Though Steven was still facing Andrew, his eyes trailed off to their feet and behind him, trying to find some peace to mull over whatever he had in mind. They stayed like that together for quite a while, but not once did Andrew’s heartbeat go back down to normal. His pulse thumped in his head, making him feel like he was moving with every pulse. His heart only skipped a beat when Steven dragged his sight back up to Andrew, lingering briefly on his lips.

“I’m so selfish,” he murmured, pulling in closer. His eyes fluttered close as he leaned in, his head tilting slightly. Andrew’s eyes were half-lidded, gradually shutting as Steven grew really close. When nothing happened, his eyelids flew open to see Steven retreating slightly.

“Oh _god_ , I really am a big fool… a big _coward…_ ” he rambled. His grasp was slipping from Andrew’s arm.

 _God_ , he was so _dumb_. Only now did it all click. Andrew’s mind was racing with a million things at once, everything growing more and more confusing. It spun like a hurricane, Steven being the peaceful eye of the storm at the centre of everything. Concentrating on that calm and familiar escape, Andrew let all of his other worries slip away as his arm wrapped around Steven’s waist and pulled him closer.

Their mouths collided harsher than he had intended, but by god was it better than he had expected. Steven had gasped as they had made contact, sighing when he realize what had occured. Just those simple noises made Andrew’s stomach do flips, along with the way Steven’s grip on his sleeve tightened desperately. It felt like his knees were going to buckle underneath him, so he slid his free hand to Steven’s cheek to hold them gently in place. The coolness of the ring on his face was probably what had made him shiver.

Pulling back, he rested his forehead against Steven’s, trying to catch his breath. Though he still felt like flying, he felt at peace.

“You should try being selfish more often,” he teased, rubbing his thumb against Steven’s cheekbone. Steven’s laugh was contagious, so they soon found each other shaking with laughter in each other’s arms, caught up in their own world.

 

* * *

 

In the hotel room, the furthest bed was untouched as if it were freshly clean and red wine stains lined the bottoms of the wine glasses left on the nightstand. In the other bed, both Steven and Andrew laid together, simply happy to be with each other. Andrew was stretched out, arm securely around his new partner. Steven was lying against Andrew’s bare chest, listening to his heartbeat and drawing on his chest with a finger.

“Do you wanna watch a movie or something?” he asked, tracing a question mark just on Andrew’s collarbone.

“Nah.”

“Television?”

“Nah.”

“Something else?”

“I’m just happy I can lay here like this with you.”

“I didn’t realize you were going to be a big ol’ sap,” Steven teased. Andrew leaned forward to nuzzle his hair and kiss his head.

“I’m your big ol’ sap.”

“How old are you again?”

“Thirty. Wow… pretty old, huh?”

“I wouldn’t say it’s so bad.”

“Aww, _great_.”

“What?”

“How am I supposed to think of something better for your thirtieth birthday when I got _this_?”

“I’m sure you’ll come up with something. We could always brainstorm.”

“No way. I want it to be a surprise.”

“Then good luck with that.”

“So… what made you realize?” His statement was vague, but he knew Steven knew exactly what he was talking about. His theory was confirmed when Steven paused what he was doing.

“Missing you?” he pondered. “Wondering if I actually regretted moving to New York?”

“You shouldn’t regret doing something you’ve always dreamed of.”

“I know. That’s why I took my time with it. And? How about you?”

“I think I was even slower than you were. It was more of a gradual thing. I didn’t even realize until you almost kissed me just earlier.”

“You’re so dense, holy man.”

“Let me be. I had other things on my mind before that, so I had more than just this to sort out.”

“Hey Andrew?”

“Yeah?”

“Isn’t it funny that we’ve known each other for such a long time?”

“I just feel even more compelled to learn every little thing about you.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> look,,,, they spend the rest of their vacation how u think they will. go wild. be creative. :D
> 
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> [bfu/bfwi tumblr](https://unsolvedbs.tumblr.com/)
> 
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> 
> [my tumblr](http://universalsatan.tumblr.com/)  
> [writing blog (for chapter/fic updates)](http://celestialberries.tumblr.com/)


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